New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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