This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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