i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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