dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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