didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
