you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
