Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
