Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
