I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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