I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
