Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
