I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
