Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
