We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She bit a glass in half.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
