Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
