This is not my ceiling
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
