She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I cut my penus on the lid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
