Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it's like iHOP with fire
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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