I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
