just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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