someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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