Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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