dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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