Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
