**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
