i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
