I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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