Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
