you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
