the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
