ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
