matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
