Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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