I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
