Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
