You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
