idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
