Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
