I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
