i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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