Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she told me i tasted like america
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I could fuck to npr.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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