I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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