if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
