please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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