TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
