hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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