how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
