I must be too annoying 4 u.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
