yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
