My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
