I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
